First off - what the balls does that mean, you ask?
Well, it's short form for my current catchphrase and affirmative mantra, "What Would Elayne Boosler Do?"
WHO, you may ask, is Elayne Boosler? And that's a shame.
That you'd have to ask at all. *Sigh-on-behalf-of-the-great-Boosler*.
Elayne Boosler is THE quintessential lady-comic from the 80's, right down to her charmeuse vest and mullette'd Jewess fro.
Check out some of her zingers:
- “We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'”
- “My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions”
- “When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country."
And of course... the ULTIMATE Booslerism...
- "I just discovered a new brand - super-extra-sensitive condoms. Wow, do they stick around and talk to you after the guy leaves?"
And just to give you the faintest taste of her on stage persona, I compel you to watch this clip of her at Comic Relief, 198something...
Yeah. She's like the hyper-liberated, tart-tongued best friend of Cathy from the Cathy comics. Like "Elayne! You can't say that!"... at which point BamBoosler would reply to Cathy, "Oh yeah? WATCH ME."
Anyballs - I've been obsessed with Elayne Boosler. Particularly because I've recently been touring exponentially more than I usually do, and finding myself in front of a brick wall background (because yes, a lot of comedy clubs steadfastly retain that stereotypical aestethic), surrounded by unbelievably zany headshots of comics from yore. Why, just this past weekend in London, Ontario, I found myself sharing personal space with none other than a signed 8x10 circa 1988 of none other than Judy Tenuta. Holy fuck. (Apparently, back in the 80's, the BamBoosler was too big for London...)
So yeah... "What Would Elayne Boosler Do?" has gotten me through many a sticky comedy situations over the past couple of weeks. Not answering the question, just saying it. Mainly abbreviated - WWEBD? It's just fun to say. Because in truth, odds are what Elayne Boosler would actually end up doing is making some underhanded jab at men then asking, "ladies, am I right?" Class frickin' act, that Boosler.
I really don't know why I felt compelled to tell you all of that. I'm kind of medicated right now - I've got that cold that everyone's got... and I'm going to catch the premiere open dress rehearsal of "The Sound of Music" tonight. So we'll see how enchanting that is to sit through with a head cold. I'm guessing not very.
Something that will enchant the pants clear off your bums, and, in some cases, frums?
A very, VERY special edition that, for realsies, I've been trying to do since DECEMBER of last year... yep, this has basically been a year in the making. Your options are kind of limited, though, when there are like, 6 lesbians comics in this country to choose from and you need 5, so yeah. But, at long last, Bitch Salad: Journey To The Isle of Lesbos is happening!!!
Anyballs... I'm off to get The Lonely Goatherd stuck in my head for all eternity.