Tuesday, September 11, 2007

That 4/11 Blog... I mean, 9/11 Blog...

Happy September 11th!!!

Or not. It's generally not cause for celebration... unless you're a terrorist. Then shooooot, this is like y'alls Fanksgivin' day or sumpin'!

But yes, a solemn day for the rest of us.

Can you honestly believe today marks the sixth anniversary of 9/11? It seems like yesterday. Of course, 9/11 is the pivotal "remember where you were when" moment of my generation, akin to Kennedy being shot or Lance/Neil/Buzz Armstrong setting foot on the moon. Prior to 9/11, all my generation had was Princess Diana dying, so I'm thankful for the magnitude of 9/11 - glass half-full, anyone? Anyone care for lemonade? Because I just made some. Out of previously unappetizing lemons. SHAZAM!

What am I even talking about right now? I'm a little hungover and am heading into my second week without carbs, which is slowly driving me insane in the membrane but that's neither here nor there.

Ah yes - 9/11. I remember where I was. It was the second day of school in my second year back at Queen's University. I wasn't in class, though - I was working. At the ever-popular campus coffee hutch, Common Ground - it was like the Central Perk of Queen's, and I, it's Rachel Green. I was just muddling away, manning m'cash regista, when all of a sudden I see a barrage of comfortably attired (everyone wore pajama pants at Queens... every day was casual Friday) co-eds coming from every angle and heading into the QP (the Queen's Pub... everything was abbreviated at Queen's) which was right down the hall from the CoGro (I'm not lying... abbreviated... everything) in a frenzy to end all frenzies.

"THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS HAVE BEEN HIT BY A PLANE!" they screamed. "THEY'RE SAYIN' IT'S TERRORISM" they yelped. "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!" they tumpeted, as it was a popular song at the time.

I refused to believe it and thought it was being exaggerated. Like, I thought some two-seater jet crashed into the Prudential tower in Newark, New Jersey or something considerably smaller scale, but as it turned out, I'd be a monkey's uncle - the towers had indeed, been hit.

I think people forget how BATSHIT NUTS everything was around that time. Like, do you remember how panicked, terrified and humourless everyone was? For a substantial period of time, too. I remember going for drinks with two friends, Mike and Karen, that night and all we could talk about was what our exit strategy if New York was nuked - a genuine concern at the time... I remember my mother calling me and crying, fearing that "[I] could be drafted"... someone sent me the photo to the left, to the left, and I actually thought it was real... it took good friend and confidante Laura DiLabio reasoning with me for hours... "Andrew, of all things, do you honestly think a funsaver camera could survive swimming in molten steel?" She had a point.

And now we're all cozied up in a post-9/11 world. After a brief period of patriotism and global unity it's been a hasty descent into skepticism at every turn. The Canadian dollar went up, and the Canadian entertainment industry collapsed on it's face. Then, attempting to get up, fell on it's ass and broke everything from the waist down. And of course, people inherently look at anyone wearing traditional Muslim garb with a raised eyebrow. Golden age, much?

Anyway - to 'celebrate' the 6-year anniversary, Osama Bin Laden came out of hiding, put on his best party dress and delivered another lonnnng-overdue searing threat. You can read the details of it HERE. Pretty standard terrorist diatribe fare... "blessed are those who have died for Allah"-blah blah blah... urging young Muslim men to join in the fight for Islam blah blah blah... drilling home the point that the promised afterlife is so much better than this world, comparing this world to a "wing of a Mosquito"... all in all, very disappointing. The hot-button issue seems to be about him dyeing his beard. Which he totally did. And I can't imagine he could have gone into a public salon, so he totally did it at home. I'd have to imagine using L'Oreal's Signature Terrorist Beard kit, but that's me. I'm imaginative.

But yeah, he's basically just up to the same old tricks. Basically.

So all things considered over the past three days - whose comeback was more disappointing? Osama Bin Laden or Britney Spears?

I'd urge you to vote HERE.

And with that, I'm off. To put flags at half-mast and the like.

--- Aj