Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Ahhh Wednesday...

A day when we pay ode to its namesake, the 7th century Anglo Saxon god Woden.

I know that's how I spend each and every Wednes-or, rather, Wodensday... I assume you follow suit...

Yeah. No. Can you believe that shit, though? I always wondered what Wednesday's deal was... and that's it. It's named after a gnome-like god from middle earth. So there you have it.

Glurg. So the TIFF rages on... According to Rex Reed, it's been so bad it's downright assailable... apparently it used to be something quite snazzy... where "fans and critics and movie moguls all stayed in the Sutton Place Hotel and turned the Bistro 990 across the street into their local commissary, trading anecdotes with John Cassevetes and hanging out with Clint Eastwood"... now it's plagued by "gridlock & greed"... it's quite a scathing read, actually...

I typically like to finagle myself into at least one party per year, and passed up perhaps my only chance of going to this Italian cinema affair last night in lieu of cleaning. Well, it wasn't just because I had to clean my apartment... it was also because this party was held on a boat. I don't do boats. You can't leave boats.

So it looks like I'm just going to have to fraudulently assume the identity of a random celebrities' handler and request tickets to the closing night gala on their behalf like I did nigh on 3 years ago... for realz: at the time I was working for a publicist who was working on a movie starring - and I use the term "starring" so loosely a blue whale could swim through it - Stephen Baldwin, and apparently he'd be in town for it and wanted to go. So my boss told me to call the festival office and request four tickets to the closing night gala and the party. She said that it would be a hassle and she'd likely have to handle it herself, but I should try.

So I did. I called them up and said, "Hi, I'm calling from [the virtually unknown company I formerly worked for] and we're representing [The random piece of shit movie he was in] starring Stephen Baldwin. Mr. Baldwin will be in town this coming Saturday and wishes to come to the gala and the closing night ceremony."

...

TIFF chick on other line: "K. How many tickets do you need?"

Just. That. Easy. I got him 4 and arranged to have them picked up under my name. I went, snatched them and that was that. Now, initially they really were, in fact, for Stephen Baldwin, then he backed out and I got them instead. But yeah. I'll plan on doing that this year as well. So huzzah.

In other news:

Elizabeth Hasselbeck continues to be a collossal mongoloid:

Oh no she di'in't!

Sooooooooooooo many things are wrong about this. First off: I'm the only thing Michelle Obama didn't want to discuss was the dead horse that is Barack Obama's ties to Reverend Jeremiah Wright that Elizabeth has beaten to dust, and the only reason Michelle didn't want to discuss it is because it would have saved her from bitch slapping Elizabeth had she brought it up! Michelle Obama means business! Secondly: Cindy McCain has nothing to hide because she has nothing to show... bitch is dumb as a box of hair... she's like a dumber, sexagenarian version of Holly Madison. Thirdly: I don't know if you watch The View, and even if you do, I don't know if you saw Elizabeth's recap from the RNC, but it showed her interviewing other Republican celebrities in attendance... among the big names: Jon Voight and Stephen Baldwin. See... it all comes back to Stephen Baldwin.

I haven't seen The View yet today, but I wonder if they addressed this little jab.

In other, other news:

In her teenage years Angelina Jolie:

a.) was still sexy...

b.) had an affinity for polka dots...

c.) hadn't yet mastered 'finding the light'....

If
THESE photos are an indication...


In other, other, other news:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! BABIES WEARING HIGH-HEELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Until tomorrow,

--- Aj