Friday, October 26, 2007

Hocus Poke-Us...

... with your penis! (pronounced "penith" a-la Maya Rudolph's character of Rosa Santiago, a maid of Spanish heritage).

Making no sense making no sense making no sense...

Alls I know is that it's the end of the fucking week, which I am ecstatic about. Yet nervous about. Ecstatic because it's been long and I'm ready to get BIGLIA*, Nervous because I leave for LaLa Land on Sunday... y'all, I hate flying! I didn't as a kid - I loved it... I'd always sit by the window... then 9/11 and the television show "Lost" happened in relative simultaneity... and now I absolutely crap m'slacks at the mere thought of it... like, it makes me wanna tie up loose ends and say my goodbyes in the event.

I would SOOO take a bus if I was super rich/worked at some cheap-bus rental place (as I'd assume I'd get a staff discount on our already discounted buses, which would make it an affordable-nay-necessary option).

But alas, no dice. Anyballs... it's looking to be quite the time. I received word last night from one Miss Rebecca Addelman who's down there right now that she show's are kind of brutal - it strikes me that at their best, they're gonna be like a good night at McVeigh's. Which is a comparison that only people in comedy are going to understand, but meh.

By the looks of things, the writer's strike is going to happen, and on Hallowe'en, of all days. SPOOKY! This article lays it out neatly... far neater than the clothes I'm planning on packing are, I can tell ya that right now... my apt's a mess! Whoa. The entire strike is over residuals, or lack there of, that writers are owed for the wave of downloadable and DVD-packaged content that's boomed in recent years. Apparently, the last time the Writer's Guild's contracts were negotiated (every time I see/say/hear that word, it's like John Travolta as Edna Turnblad in "Hairspray"... neg-eeeowww-shiated... drives me nuts...) was before this boom happened or was foreseeable. So yeah.

It does, however, give me a renewed 'discovery' fantasy about my whole LA excursion that I was sorely lacking before: Because of the writer's strike, producers and network brass will be scouring LA's comedy clubs desperate for non-union comedians, specifically Canadian non-union talent who will work for a green card and some graham crackers.

IT'S TOTALLY GONNA HAPPEN! I'm using the secret! SECRET!

In other news:

Tonight I'm doing a show at a little, intimate joint called "Bread & Circus" in Kensington Market called "Dragons of Comedy". It's hosted by the divine Dawn Whitwell and features the strongest lineup I've played on all-year excluding, of course, every single Bitch Salad that's either happened and/or been conceived of. On tonight's lineup: Me, Debra DiGiovanni, Gavin Stephens, Laurie Elliott, sketch by Aurora Browne & Carolyn Taylor, and improv by Lisa Merchant & Jan Caruana. NUTS! Do you even know how good that fucking lineup is???!!!

I'll be trying the set that I want to do for LA out tonight - so it'll be neutered of its Canadian references. Namely: TTC, Brockville & Jann Arden. TTC's being changed to 'bus'. Brockville's being changed to 'Canada'. Jann Arden's being changed to "Carnie Wilson... PRE-bypass..." Hopefully it all goes swimmingly.

Then I'm off to a Hallow e'en function at Buddies called "Boo Bitch" where I'm acting as """"celebrity judge"""" alongside babelicious Nicole Arbour for a costume contest. Here's a hint to you if you're there and want to win: Make out with me and you'll emerge victorious.

SATURDAY NIGHT:

That's right... it's our annual Hallowe'en party... bewitchingly titled "Hocus Poke-us" this year...

It'll be nuts as per usual. I'll have a ton of photos, as per usual. That I'll try my damnedest to blog about as soon as possible, as per usual. But will probably be distracted by something shiny, as per usual.

K...

If you live in LA, which a few of you that I've heard from but brilliantly not kept remotely active contact with do, come down to the McCadden Place Theatre either Monday, October 29th and/or November 1st... that would be sweet...

Wish me the safest trip ever and know that I'll be crapping myself for approximately 6 hours betwixt 6:30 Eastern time and 8:45 Pacific Time...

Smell ya sooner rather than later,

--- Aj

*Short form for "Booze In Gut, Legs In Air"... i.e. be a drunken slut...