Monday, January 14, 2008

Brenda Dickson Fever Rages On...

Happy Monday, monkeys...

So, was anyone one of the dozen or so people who tuned into the Golden Globes' "announcement" last night? It both really sucked and was awesome at the same time. It was awesome because it was a no-muss, no-fuss rundown of the winners in each category. It sucked because it was done Access Hollywood-style.

I thought this meant that it'd be done by celebrities on flashy sound stages looking into camera - Access Hollywood-style. Unfortunately, that actually meant Billy Bush and Nancy O'Dell would be officiating the entire fucking thing. Boo-Urns. After every single award was given they'd transparently rue and lament the others who they believed to be in the running who just fucking weren't... "And the Golden Globe goes to Julie Christie for "Away From Her"... wow Nancy, what do you make of that?" "I don't know Billy. I really thought Jodie Foster had a shot. And who could forget Angelina Jolie in 'A Mighty Heart'. She used an accent!"

Anyway. Everything broke down as per expected. Daniel Day Lewis & Johnny Depp in Lead Actor... DDL has been predicted to take the Oscar for months now, with Depp a close but distinct second... Julie Christie & Marion Cotillard in Lead Actress (BORING)... again, they've been predicted to be neck & neck for ages now... And Javier Bardem and Cate Blanchett have been locks for ages... I haven't seen Atonement, but I've heard that it's the most fantastically boring pile of shit ever made...

The real delight and surprise of the night was Tina Fey's win for "30 Rock" - pretty much the only reason I wish that the ceremony had been aired. Her acceptance speech would have diamond-encrusted gold, let me tell ya. Does anyone fucking watch that show? It's brilliant-SHE'S brilliant. This past week there was a storyline in which her character, Liz Lemon, is trying to buy a condo and has to go up against the co-op board of this stuffy building and sublimely fucks up the interview. After not hearing from them, she gets drunk by herself and starts drunk dialing them and leaving them messages a-la a freshly-dumped woman calling her ex-lover, each more hilarious than the last.

There was a tie for my favourite: her fourth call she's lying on her bathroom floor crying, drunk off her ass and yelling into the phone, "I am going to the hospital now! Are you happy?!"... I've totally been there before. Holy shit. The other, it's 7 AM, she's moved away from white wine to red wine, she's on a treadmill (I've been exactly there before) leaving her final message: "That's fine. Who needs ya. I'm buying a bunch of other apartments now. I bought a black apartment..." --- OHMYGODBRILLIANT.

Trivia: Did you know that Tina Fey's win was the LONE broadcast television winner of the night. All the other Globes went to cable shows. Isn't that something. Hmmm....

Anyballs... moving on to faaaar more important matters...

Yesterday, I received a facebook wall post by my best girlfriend, Mike "Mitch" Lenic, alerting me to Brenda Dickson's official site.

It seems that there has been a rather monumental update in Brenda's video section where she updates her legions of fans about her coming's, going's and perhaps most importantly, doing's.

Starting things off on a still show of the picture to the right by saying "Ah, this couch is so comfortable", she easily had me at 'hello'.

This is not a joke. Behold: http://www.brendadickson.com/brendaback.html

Yeah. Brenda Dickson does not have an 'off' switch. Her frequency is constantly set to "ultra-glamorous". This woman is just magnificent.

And that's not even the greatest thing that I've seen all weekend...

Remember in Friday's blog, when I named American Gladiatrix HELLGA as the Bitch I Loved This Week?

Well... it seems that someone of note read it...

Photobucket

AHHHHH!!! I don't think I could have asked for a more awesomely random celebrity to have read my blog and what I had to say about her than HELLGA. YES!

Notice that she thanks and compliments me yet also threatens me in the same breath? Why? BECAUSE THAT'S HOW FUCKING BAD-ASS SHE IS!!! AHHHHH!!!!

Anyway... I'd take a myspace message from HeLLga over a phone call from Britney Spears swearing at me in a British accent annnyday...

Tasty,

--- Aj