D'afternoon to y' and y'rs.
5 thinks to tickle ya noggin.
1.) PETE DOHERTY ARRESTED ON DRUG POSSESSION FOR THE 12TH BILLION TIME
Can news programs, infotainment programs, infotainment weekly magazines, infotainment monthly magazines, tabloids, bloggerati, water cooler conversationalists and the world in general please stop paying attention to Pete Doherty?
I don't understand why all the above sources feel the need to report when he gets busted on drugs as news when it happens. It's like when you read headlines like "Olsen Twins Shun Papparazzi" or "Carmen Electra Acts Like A Whore" - IT'S NOT NEWS! IT'S A REGULAR, MINUTELY OCCURRANCE!!! Sheesh.
Speaking of things that aren't news, but meh, I'll mention it anyway...
2.) PAPS CATCH LINDSAY AT REHAB
Because bitch would gnarl up and die if she wasn't in a tabloid for more than 3 days, Lindsay teamed with the good folks at OK to stage several 'candid' shots of her fighting the good fight at the Sundance, Utah rehab lodge she's currently staying at.
A while back, her rehab itinerary was "leaked" by some """anonymous source""" - and among its rather mundane details, it disclosed that Lindsay works shifts at a local grocery store [not the one pictured to the right - that's just a random pap shot of Lindsay along with her irrevocably fucked up siblings Alli and Cody] - anyway... THOSE would be the only pics I'd be interested in seeing. Lohan restocking the yams and price checking FudgeO's and shit. That would make my life so much richer than it already is, really.
3.) DANNILYNNE HOPE NICOLE-SMITH-K. MARSHALL-STERN-BIRKHEAD TURNS 1
It's not really my nature to be maliciously cruel to children, particularly newbors.
But this bitch has it comin'...
By looks of it, she inherited daddy's raging gayface and mommy's... uh... how to put this... glandular burdens. I can't tell you how enthralled I am to watch this one grow up.
At least she's gonna be rich. Who wants to place bets right now on how old she'll be before K-Fed starts courting her?
4.) THIS IS HIS SIGNATURE LOOK: JASON DAVIS EDITION
My God, Jason Davis is disgusting.
If you're a reasonable person with ethics, values and a life - you don't know who this glob of evil is.
Allow me to enlighten you: If Paris Hilton and former-fug Nicole Richie had male counterparts, they might be brothers Brandon and Jason Davis. Heirs to a vast oil fortune, Brandon landed in the tabloids after the TMZ cameras famously caught him calling Lindsay Lohan a 'firecrotch' during a night out with close friend Paris. Jason's his demonically unattractive, questionably gay brother and ergo: a gigantic moving target.
Here's him snapped at, of all places, a beachside party at Paris Hilton's Malibu beach house. It's time once again for...
This Is His Signature Look...
5.) BATSHIT NUTS ITEM OF THE DAY
I'm sure someone's uncovered this before as it's 2 years old, but holy fuck.
Since 2005, someone has been running a blog as if they are Madonna, posting nearly every day. On it, she posts news about herself (just slightly after the fact that the rest of the world finds out about it), posts fan videos and even runs a book club.
It's pretty effin' psychotic, but I admire their productivity.
Check it out here: http://madonnasthoughts.blogspot.com/