Wednesday, January 23, 2008

That "In Memorium" Blog

Well, let's get right down to it, shall we?...

Fact: did you know that this past Monday, January 21st was "Blue Monday" - the most depressing day of the year? It's generally the dead of winter, the sun sets at 3 PM, holiday spirit has died down, New Years resolutions haven't panned out and it's not even the half-way point yet.


On a completely unrelated topic - or rather, completely related topic - last night, 'round 7 PM, making m'way home from the gym I pop open my phone and am inundated with text messages informing me that one Heathcliff Andrew Ledger had passed away.

Truth be told I learned of this fact when I was at the gym. I was finishing up m'cardio when all of a sudden a newsflash came on the Global newscast that happened to be on the TV right in front of my face informing me that one "Keith Ledger" had died. Those people who do closed captioning need to be kicked in the box. Balls.

So who the fuck saw this one comin'? Not I. It was pretty common knowledge that Heathcliff (I love that name) had his demons, but no more than say, a Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

But apparently, yeah - he was downright druggity.

Here are the facts: 12:30 PM, in the $23,000-a month Soho loft he was renting (in the same building as Mary-Kate Olsen... not, as early reports claimed, in Mary-Kate's apartment) Heathcliff's housekeeper claims to have heard him snoring loudly. At approximately 3:30 PM, a masseuse arrived to give him what would have/should have been a succulent rubdown. Upon many a knock at his bedroom door, no dice. The housekeeper and the masseuse then bust their way into his room only to find him naked, on his stomach and deader than late-night television (topical... HEEEY!).

An elephant's weight of pills were found circling his dead body, including but not limited to: Zoloft©, Donormyl©, Zopiclone©, Diazepam© and of course over-the-counter sleeping 'aid', Ambien®.

At present, autopsy results are inconclusive, but it was likely a perfect storm of the above chemical relaxants that caused his death. Which is so, so sad.

Sadder still is that he leave behind a 2-year-old daughter, Matilda, with his ex-wife and co-star of Brokeback, Michelle Williams, who couldn't act her way through an acid-saturated budget-paper-towel, which is also quite sad.

VERY sad is that those fucking bungalow-dwelling cousin-kissing mongoloids in Fred Phelps' "God Hates Fags" army are - AND GET A LOAD OF THIS - flying to Australia to picket Heathcliff's funeral because he played Ennis Del Mar (exquisitely, may I add) in Brokeback Mountain.

If you don't know who Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church is, allow me to enlighten you. It's an independent Baptist Church/straight-up-cult out of Topeka, Kansas. Phelps presides over a congregation of around 80 or so - many of whom are made up of his immediate and extended family members. They picket funerals for gays, soldiers and public figures who have supported the GLBT community with signs that say "Thank God for 9/11", "Thank God for AIDS", "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" and of course, "God Hates Fags".

I've always sworn that if ever I crossed paths with God Hates Fags protesters, I'd resort to physical violence. And I'd take great, great pleasure in it. For real: "Gods Hate Fags"-ites... if you're out there... come to Canada... specifically Toronto... I dare you... I will snipe you. Or at least hurl a brick at your homeliest member.

It's actually pretty hilarious to go the website and look at some of the pictures from their protests. They're the most severely unattractive, emaciated people, smiling and waving at the camera brandishing these hateful signs. And, as per evidenced by the above picture and the below video, they make their kids go along with it:

But this blog isn't about "God Hates Fags". It's about Heathcliff A. Ledger. R.I.P. Ennis.

On the bright side, guess who is still with us:



EVERY SINGLE 1 OF THE GOLDEN GIRLS (albeit Estelle Getty is raddled by the 'Zheimers)


Awww... Heidi's got a pumpkin and Spencer's wheel-barrowing her around! What WILL they think of next... fuckers...

And perhaps most shocking of all...




Once again, R.I.P. Heathcliff Ledger,

--- Aj