Monday, October 15, 2007

big whoop! who gives a bibble? gabba gabba hey.: Canadian Television Edition

Meh. Just another manic Monday.

Welcome, welcome, welcome...

So a few odds 'n ends regarding Canadian television that range from moderately interesting to not-at-all interesting...

A.) STAR DAILY ABRUPTLY CANCELLED

This from The Toronto Star:

"Star Daily, one of several Canadian clones of Entertainment Tonight, has suddenly gone off the air.On Thursday, 22 employees of the show – a staple of the specialty Star channel – were given notice they have lost their jobs. The last show was telecast Wednesday.The decision to kill the show was made by CTV, which recently took over Star and 17 other specialty channels from CHUM.The show has the dubious distinction of being the first victim of the takeover – which will make people nervous at other channels.It came as no surprise to insiders who were aware that Star Daily had perilously low ratings – only about 7,000 viewers – especially compared to CTV's daily eTalk, which draws close to 400,000 viewers."It was a case of two similar shows," says Jordan Schwartz, vice-president and general manager of CTV's entertainment group. "We went with the one that made a priority of Canadian content."Most of those who lost jobs were at the level of production assistants."

Hmmm... well hardly surprising. 7,000 viewers? Yikes. My blog pulls in comparable numbers and includes none of the unpleasantness that is Sean Gehon. Shoot. Hardly-er surprising considering that the launch of E! Entertainment Television Canada took all of its American counterparts' programming that was previously featured on Star, leaving it with programming that could only be classified as sub par at best ("This is David Gest", anyone?) But perhaps most unsurprisingly of all is the fact that Star and all its fellow former-CHUM owned & operated channels are now owned by Bell Globemedia, the same media giant that owns CTV and all of its broadcast family. It's long been suspected that the entire former CHUM empire would be quietly and quickly euthanized in favour of CTV - is Star Daily the first nail in the coffin? Time will tell...

2.) PROJECT RUNWAY CANADA BLOWS.

Like much of the world, I loves me some Project Runway. It's reality television at it's absolute best and most interesting. I find the American version positively gripping. Not only are the characters within the show incredibly compelling, but they're actually brilliantly talented. The show always resulted in very entertaining, fiery, dramatic story lines and really fucking pretty product. It seemed like a no-lose formula. Seemed.

The Canadian version is soooooo, well, Canadian. Everyone is very polite and guarded. It is so unbelievably mundane! Their sound bytes consist of "I was just hoping that the model was able to walk well. And also, hoping that the judges liked my outfit. As well, I was nervous about going on to the runway. Furthermore, I sure do hope I return next week". Literally. It's that interesting. It's 100% of the formula of the US Version - right down to the white background with the dress form that they do their interviews in front of - with 0% of the buzz.

The best part of the show is Iman and that's not saying much. She seems like the only one who understands that this is a fucking show... y'know? The one that has CAMERAS? That record what you're doing? Intended for broadcast? Presumably, as entertainment? Whatever.

The one thing I couldn't handle was that Iman's Project Runway catchphrase upon dismissing contestants is "I'm sorry. But you just don't measure up." GET IT?! "MEASURE"? AS IN CLOTHES? Oh shit, that's rich. That must have taken a team of writers all year to dream up. If I was one of those contestants, I would have busted up right then and there each and ev'rytime bitch says it. Because I'm Canadian - therein being the problem --- Canadians are way too apathetic for that shit and, by and large, not desperately grappling at their 15 minutes of fame like Americans... therefore, pretty historically bad subjects for reality television.

Anyballs... I probably won't be watching to see who does "measure up".

3.) THIS SEASON ON SNL: STUNT HOSTING IS SO IN...

It is just beyond me what is going through the heads of Lorne Michaels and Marci Klein this season on Saturday Night Live. What the fuck is the deal with these hosts? First it was LeBron James... I can forgive that... they often have waste-of-skin athletes come on... then Seth Rogan... an obvious choice albeit imperfect fit... then JON BON JOVI?! Way to strike while the iron is hot. What the hell was that? WHY the hell was that? He sucked it. He was another musician who comes on that they try to flatter in every sketch he's in and ends up bombing. HANDS DOWN the best part of the night was Maya PK Rudolph's character Rosa Santiago during Update:

Yep. That was the best part. And I am counting Kristen Wiig's Bjork. I'm sorry... I am SO over Bjork impressions. T'might have been funny in 1998, but it's just turned into such a standby party trick for 'quirky' girls in recent years --- kinda like their equivalent to what Borat is for 20-something douchebag dudes. Me = OVER IT! That is to say that I was ever under it...

Anyballs - yes, it's true that if I had my way, every week would be hosted by either Molly Shannon or Alec Baldwin, but this is getting ridiculous. Two weeks from now it's been announced that NBC newsman Brian Williams will be hosting... so it looks like this stunt casting will continue. At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if the next 5 hosts are Barack Obama, Venus & Serena Williams, Tony Danza, Masi Oka and Hootie from Hootie & The Blowfish. Good grief.

Again,

Good grief,

--- Aj