Thursday, September 20, 2007

sick sick sick sick sick sick sick...

Yep. Still sick. Better... but that's not saying a lot...

Today at my work - down at the Mirvish building - they're having auditions for the Shaw festival right down the hall where the rehearsal halls are. I'm going to assume that they're casting the effin' male chorus of "A Chorus Line" or "La Cage Aux Folles" or some shit because Imma tell ya... the elevator has been like a clown-car of presentably dressed actor-type homos - and THEY ALL HAVE BACK PACKS... not gym bags, not man-purses, not satchels, not even BINDELS but BACK PACKS! It's driving me nuts. But then again, as is everything today because I'm SICK! WAH!

I don't know if anyone was drawn to the hype like a bored moth to a well-publicized flame and suckered into watching "Kid Nation" like I was, but let me tell ya - DISAPPOINTING. It's just like a glorified summer camp. 40 kids descend on an old-tymey Western saloon-town and need to make their own society or something blah blah blah I switched over to the 9th cycle premiere of America's Next Top Model within 3 minutes. ANTM, btw, still as rollicking a good time as ever. My favourite: Did anyone see that there was a girl there named Spontaniouse? Yes. As in a sista-fied reworking of the word "spontaneous"... although a pronunciation was never given, I'll assume it would have been "Spon-Tay-Nee-Oose-Ay". Wow. Anyway, Sponti didn't make it, so my second favourite and pick to win (ergo: she won't) is Heather.

She's borderline-autistic (for serious!) and she looks like a haute couture 1950's-era vamp... LOVE. There is a whole lotta stupid on this season though. That Mila bitch? Wow. That Jenna chick? Pretty but my God bitch is dumb as hair. That stripper who looks like Alicia Keys? Oooh-wee. D'ohhh well, I'll still watch it.

Anyway - Kid Nation. Sucked. They have to participate in challenges which decide which team will be the ruling class, the merchants, the cooks and the labourers. And they're moderated by an adult male. SO FUCK THAT! There's still an authority figure!

I thought this show was just gonna be dropping 40 ten-year olds off in the middle of a desert and letting the bitches fend for their damn selves and seeing how many survived/got pregnant! But no such luck. Whatever. You're on your own, Kid Nation.

I then sat down for the long winter's nap that was the two-hour season finale extravaganza of "Last Comic Standing". Jon Reep - the kindly redneck with no lips - won. I was amazed. AMAZED. My sort of rule of thumb is that you can never beat a black male rock-star comic - which is what the runner up Lavelle Crawford is - in a mainstream comedy setting, they'll always trump the competition. An Eddie Murphy will always trump a Mitch Hedberg or a Jerry Seinfeld any day. Except last night apparently, so wow.

Anyway - the main reason I watched it was for the two minutes that the rest of the Top 10 was brought out which included Debra DiGiovanni. They were subjected to 2 minutes of spewing their best one liners. Glorf. I'd sooner die than have to do that. Doug Benson basically rules the world. His: "You'd think that how gay Ant wants everyone to think he is, he'd go by Aunt." It made me lose my shit. Awesome. Just me? Really? Okay. Sorry.

Okay... I'm fading like a flower and the thirtieth auditionee sporting a back pack - THEY ALL HAVE BACK PACKS - just came into my office and needed redirection... the Roxette song... I have 5 minutes to make this blog interesting...

Here's a collection of cats strung out on catnip. It's brightened my day.


--- Aj