Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Carole Pope-smear

Muggles and non-muggles alike...

How art thou?

Sorry for not posting since Thursday. Sorrier still that the fucking photoshopping I did portraying Estelle Getty on the cover of a "mature" watersports video was taken down - I COVERED UP HER NASTY ELDERLY TETTAS AND BEAV! What more do you want, Photobucket?! So fuck it... here it is again...

Yes. Again, I'm terribly sorry for her family. But I'm allowed to my artistic expression. And if that artistic expression involves putting the face of your matriarch on an old broad takin' a leak, SO. BE. IT.


This past weekend was somethin' else buster.

Friday night saw us venture out to Circa. I believe there's some unnecessary capitalization in there... like CirCa or something... meh... it's not worth it. It's this five-tiered fortress of a club that's impossible to navigate. I have to imagine some horrendous cyborg king sits at the top of it, ruling over everything.

It was SUCH a hassle to get in. Thank God we were joined this evening by the lovely and talented Miss Nicole Arbour, who, wielded her awesome men's magazine appeal to get us into the VIP. Yep. We rocked the VIP. It was definitely a low point of my life.

There are some phrases that I just feel that, if I don't get to utter them but once in my life, well, my life will be incomplete. I remember for the longest time, it was "Physician Heal Thyself!" and I finally got to drag that out two years ago when I worked at this physiotherapy-esque joint.

Well Friday got to see me FINALLY bust out, "I don't like like the vibe in the VIP". YES! My life is that much richer...

Anyballs - Circa was nothing to shout about. Very pricey and very crowded. The music was atrocious. I vamoosed out of there tidily before 1.

Saaaaturday saw me trek to - where else - Buddies... BUT for good reason. To catch a two-night-only, intimate performance by the legendary Carole Pope.

Refresher course on Carole Pope...

Or, rather for many of you, introductory course on Carole Pope...

Carole Pope is the front woman and one half of the creative force behind a legendary Canadian punk/new-wave outfit called Rough Trade whose heyday would have been the mid-70's to the mid-80's when they broke up.

Their renown came from their innovative, aggressively sexual songs like "All Touch", "Crimes of Passion" and their biggest hit, "High School Confidential" (as performed below) all marked by Pope's signature androgynous swagger and BDSM-inspired look...

Anyway. She fucking rocks. She first came to light for me back in '03 or '02 or some year that she was playing pride here. I remember groaning about how no one of any sort of relevance came to play pride and my uncle said that this year's entertainment was Carole Pope. I, of course, said "who?" and my mother - who was also present at the time - said "oh I love Carole Pope". I had absolutely no idea who the balls she was, so my uncle went about schooling me in the rich history of Rough Trade and also that "High School Confidential" was the song that Justin strips to in that episode of "Queer As Folk" when he won the stripping competition, so that brought it home.

Some time after that, I was milling about in a Chapters for some ungodly reason and came across her autobiography, "Anti-Diva". In it, she gives a no holds barred account of her many, many, MANY lesbian love affairs - each one more torrid than the last - and a vivid account of her years spent on the front lines of the punk, disco and new-wave music scene. It was a very fetching read - particularly what she has to say about her affair with Dusty Springfield, whom I fucking love.

Anyballs - she was fantastic. Just transfixing. I didn't know any of the music - because yeah, no, she totally didn't do "High School Confidential"... and I know! That's like Laura Branigan (God rest her soul) not doing "Gloria" - but it was cool. She was just a joy to watch.

Annnnnd that'll be the extent that I see any sort of live music for the rest of the year. An evening well spent.

In other news:



Who: [See above].
Why I Loved Her: Because she's a fierce tranny mess, is why. A consummate pro, magical to watch, still full of a boisterous, aggressive vocal style and watermelon-sized bronzed balls. She's quite a broad. AND - THIS IS SOME HOT TRIVIA - her sister is Elaine Pope. Who's Elaine Pope, you ask? A standup comic and writer and former flame of Jerry Seinfeld's... who directly served as the inspiration for Elaine Benes, is who... so, she's got that going for her too.



Who: Aspiring musician/Former Governor Eliot Spitzer's pick of the Emperor's Club VIP litter for right hand whore. Or, pardon me, escort. Recently set to see her premium soar and enjoy a cushy 15 minutes of fame when she was presented with a 1 million dollar offer to work with Joe Francis' "Girls Gone Wild" empire... that is until they found that years ago, pre-Emperor's Club, bitch had one too many Bacardi Breezers, lost her halter top and unknowingly gave away her milk for free.
Why I Hated Her: Oh Ashley Alexandra Ashley Alexandra Ashley Alexandra... my my my... talk about that old fable, "The Fox & The Crow". Jesus. This is sort of an updated version. Sort of. This bitch spends years uppin' the value of her bidness only to have it dashed by some youthful indiscretions. I guess I kinda feel bad for her. Ah well. My love for kicking people when they're down far outweighs that guilt. Anyway... moral of the story kids - DON'T BE A HO.

That's it? Really? Really?

Meh... I promise pithier fare later this week...

Love & Light,

--- Aj