Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Big Whoop! Who Gives A Bibble? Gabba Gabba Hey!

Heya monkeys,

Sorry about not posting yesterday. I was up to my ears in filing and had to race to Rivoli last night as I made my debut hosting the SketchComedyLounge! It was great - a ton of people came out, and after a somewhat frigid start, the ball got rolling... PRECISELY when I brought up HeLLga from American Gladiators. The people love HeLLga. What can I say?

As such, I didn't get to watch American Idol last night and that's heartbreaking. I swear to fuck I've been racing around so much lately that I have three episodes of The View and the two-hour premiere of Idol to catch up on, and I just don't know how the balls Imma do it. Anyway... onto something -anything- more interesting...

1.) GETTIN' WIIG-GY WITH IT

Radar Magazine has a lenghty interview with one of my favourite people in the known universe, Kristen Wiig - the latest breakout star of Saturday Night Live.

It's kind of boring. I was so excited to read it because I was like "YES! A WINDOW INTO HER BRAIN! AWESOME!", but yeah. It's just kind of uneventful chit chat.

She talks about her scene-stealin' role in Knocked Up, being the recipient of Justin Timberlake's "Dick In A Box" and of course, the genesis of Penelope - remaining very tight-lipped about the real-life inspiration for her...

" [She's] someone nobody would ever know. She's obviously not as bad as Penelope, but she had a tendency to one-up me all the time, and whenever I would talk about it to other people, I would end up using that voice and really exaggerating it."

Hmmm. The only thing that made me laugh was this quote, about a character that she really loves but always bombed:

"There was this one character that I did at the Groundlings who I kept trying to bring to life in rehearsals called Joan Hawaii, P.I. She was this Hawaiian detective and everything she did was related to Hawaii. She always drank pineapple juice, and had macadamia nut bullets in her gun. I don't know why, but I just thought it was funny. I tried it once in a show, but it never worked."

I can just fucking picture it and I love it. If/when SNL is back on the air, DO JOAN HAWAII, P.I.!!!!!!!! I AM NOT GOING TO REST UNTIL I SEE JOAN HAWAII, P.I.!!!!!

2.) THE SMURFS TURN 50

Yep. Nigh-on 50 years ago an eccentric and what-I-assume-to-be tiny, almost miniature Belgian Man named Pierre Culliford invented a race of blue forest-dwelling elves called "The Smurfs" - originally Les Schtroumpfs in French.

Of note about the Smurfs: They subbed in the word "Smurf" for any word they damn well pleased, and their population was almost entirely male. Which the load that Smurfette's tiny, blue smurfgina had to bear almost unbearable. Seriously, that bitch needed to service the entire fucking Smurf village - Papa Smurf, Hefty Smurf, Brainy Smurf... with the only relief/alternative provided by Vanity Smurf's smurfhole.

Anyballs, in tribute to the Smurfs, here's a brilliant parody they did of them and 'The Anna Nicole Show' a few years back on SNL...


3.) MALIBU CONTINUES REIGN AS HOTTEST BITCH ALIVE

I was turned onto this. It's amazing. It's Malibu from American Gladiators. Talking about his injury. If there ever needs to be a textbook definition or canon of "Douchebag, circa the early 90's", look no further than this man...

Absolutely amazing. Most excellent, even.

K... that's it for me today... major Idol-related blog coming later this week...

Love & Light,

--- Aj

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