Oooh-Wee T-Shane,
TGIF... gonna have some fun, show you how it's done, TGIF! YES! I remember there was a time that I honestly looked forward to ABC's Friday night TGIF lineup that included, but was not limited to: "Full House", "Family Matters", "Boy Meets World", "Perfect Strangers", "Sabrina, The Teenage Witch", "Mr. Belvedere", "Step By Step" and a slew of other shows with theme songs penned by the incomparable Jesse Frederick.
Jesus... I watched so much TV as a kid that it's a wonder my eyeballs didn't melt a-la the people of Hiroshima upon first glance at the erupting A-Bomb. So I'm told.
Anyballs... my interest and curiosity was piqued this past week when mine eyes gazed upon this headline: "Courtney Love Wants Ryan Gosling, Scarlett Johansson for Cobain Biopic". Hmm. Really? Well. Isn't that something.
Apparently there's a biopic called "Heavier Than Heaven" in the works, and it's all about the tumultuous years that Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain were together. Apparently Courtney's desperate for Scarlett to play her and has sent the contract and is on her ass every day. Apparently Kirsten Dunst was supposed to play her first, but that decision was reconsidered on account of, oh I dunno, KIRSTEN DUNST SUCKS BALLS AND NO ONE LIKES HER!!! Apparently Courtney plans to be on set constantly schooling Scarlett in the realism of the scenarios...
Yeah. Apparently Courtney Love is outta her crazy ass mind. Scarlett Johansson? Someone really overestimates themself. It's exactly what I was talking about a year and a half ago when I cast my friends and family in the story of my life. So many people were like "Joaquin Phoenix should play me! Kate Beckinsale should play me!" And I was like "uhhh... no."
Oscar nominees Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Gosling? Yeah. Try the recently deceased Brad Renfro and super-mess Natasha Lyonne...
THAT is more like it. A triumph in casting, if I do say so myself. Well, it couldn't actually happen, what with Brad being, y'know dead and all, but still. What could have been would have been magical.
But why stop there - in the inevitable Whitney & Bobby biopic, High School Musical stars Monique Coleman and Corbin Bleu!
In the eagerly anticipated Roseanne and Tom Arnold biopic, Hairspray sweetheart Nikki Blonsky and Superbad cut-up Jonah Hill!
In the sure-to-be-momentous biopic about the life and times of Brangelina, Brad Pitt as himself and me as Angie Jo-Jo...
It's going to be a nightmare casting those kids. God, the casting director of "The Sound of Music" had it easy compared to what we have in store for us - am I right? Oh, ha, yes, that's rich.
In the absolutely imminent Britney & KFed biopic, a three-parter...
Playing them from Pre- to Post- adolescence, Hannah Montana herself Miley Cyrus and in his big screen debut, current bad-ass it-boy Corey Worthington...
Playing them in what I affectionately refer to as 'the trainwreck years' - the golden age we're currently in the thick of - are two bonafide trainwrecks themselves, Z-List party-girl Tara Reid and professional douchebag Jesse Metcalfe...
And playing them in their later years - and yes, I am being wildly optimistic that Britney will ride out 2008 without committing suicide - Knotts Landing star and someone I have to imagine chants "mirror, mirror on the wall, whose face is most busted of them all" Joan Van Ark, and the most enigmatic man on the face of the planet Gary "Juicy" Busey...
That's gonna be it for today.
Bitches I Loved/Hated This Week tomorry. And song of the week, too - and let me tell ya, it's a fuckin' doozy.
Have a great weekend!
--- Aj
TGIF... gonna have some fun, show you how it's done, TGIF! YES! I remember there was a time that I honestly looked forward to ABC's Friday night TGIF lineup that included, but was not limited to: "Full House", "Family Matters", "Boy Meets World", "Perfect Strangers", "Sabrina, The Teenage Witch", "Mr. Belvedere", "Step By Step" and a slew of other shows with theme songs penned by the incomparable Jesse Frederick.
Jesus... I watched so much TV as a kid that it's a wonder my eyeballs didn't melt a-la the people of Hiroshima upon first glance at the erupting A-Bomb. So I'm told.
Anyballs... my interest and curiosity was piqued this past week when mine eyes gazed upon this headline: "Courtney Love Wants Ryan Gosling, Scarlett Johansson for Cobain Biopic". Hmm. Really? Well. Isn't that something.
Apparently there's a biopic called "Heavier Than Heaven" in the works, and it's all about the tumultuous years that Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain were together. Apparently Courtney's desperate for Scarlett to play her and has sent the contract and is on her ass every day. Apparently Kirsten Dunst was supposed to play her first, but that decision was reconsidered on account of, oh I dunno, KIRSTEN DUNST SUCKS BALLS AND NO ONE LIKES HER!!! Apparently Courtney plans to be on set constantly schooling Scarlett in the realism of the scenarios...
Yeah. Apparently Courtney Love is outta her crazy ass mind. Scarlett Johansson? Someone really overestimates themself. It's exactly what I was talking about a year and a half ago when I cast my friends and family in the story of my life. So many people were like "Joaquin Phoenix should play me! Kate Beckinsale should play me!" And I was like "uhhh... no."
Oscar nominees Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Gosling? Yeah. Try the recently deceased Brad Renfro and super-mess Natasha Lyonne...
THAT is more like it. A triumph in casting, if I do say so myself. Well, it couldn't actually happen, what with Brad being, y'know dead and all, but still. What could have been would have been magical.But why stop there - in the inevitable Whitney & Bobby biopic, High School Musical stars Monique Coleman and Corbin Bleu!
In the eagerly anticipated Roseanne and Tom Arnold biopic, Hairspray sweetheart Nikki Blonsky and Superbad cut-up Jonah Hill!In the sure-to-be-momentous biopic about the life and times of Brangelina, Brad Pitt as himself and me as Angie Jo-Jo...It's going to be a nightmare casting those kids. God, the casting director of "The Sound of Music" had it easy compared to what we have in store for us - am I right? Oh, ha, yes, that's rich.In the absolutely imminent Britney & KFed biopic, a three-parter...
Playing them from Pre- to Post- adolescence, Hannah Montana herself Miley Cyrus and in his big screen debut, current bad-ass it-boy Corey Worthington...
Playing them in what I affectionately refer to as 'the trainwreck years' - the golden age we're currently in the thick of - are two bonafide trainwrecks themselves, Z-List party-girl Tara Reid and professional douchebag Jesse Metcalfe...And playing them in their later years - and yes, I am being wildly optimistic that Britney will ride out 2008 without committing suicide - Knotts Landing star and someone I have to imagine chants "mirror, mirror on the wall, whose face is most busted of them all" Joan Van Ark, and the most enigmatic man on the face of the planet Gary "Juicy" Busey...That's gonna be it for today.Bitches I Loved/Hated This Week tomorry. And song of the week, too - and let me tell ya, it's a fuckin' doozy.
Have a great weekend!
--- Aj
1 comment:
Good words.
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