I meant that facetiously... this has been the longest week EVER... and it's ooonly getting longer...
Well no, it's not really. It's effectively over today after I'm done postering the village and the gym. I might stay in tonight. I haven't decided. I probably won't, but I might.
This is boring. I'm sorry.
Now...... an unfashionably late recount of our annual Hallowe'en fete two weeks ago, "Hocus Poke-us"... with you penis!
Every year, it seems, the costumes get more and more brilliant and more fun is had... this year was in fine keeping with that rule...
Here's Kyte and Gail as Pete Doherty and Wonder Woman, respectively.Gail opted for a classic, straight-forward approach, channelling Lynda Carter, and let's be honest... who the fuck can't appreciate that?
Kyte, on the other hand, kept it current as male trainwreck-du jour Pete Doherty, dousing himself in artificial vomit whose recipe I can't remember, but it was very well thought-out.
Something tells me it had maple syrup in it, but don't quote me...
Here's the lovely April Wozniak paying homage to the lovlier Divine... John Waters' muse and "Edna" in the original film version of "Hairspray".They broke the mold when they made April Wozniak, let me tell ya.
While every desperate bitch and her mother was dressing up like a sexy cat this Hallowe'en, April Wozny up and does THIS - BRILLIANT!
And a rather obscure reference, too.
Meh. If someone didn't know who Divine was, we just told them she was Anna Nicole Smith and they were very rarely any the wiser...
Here's Anth and Cliffy Richie as Prince and Pugsley from "The Addams Family", respectively.Well, I think Anth might be a cross betwixt Prince and a stunned marmasat... he's got a very wide-eyed, rainforrest creature look about him in every photo that I schnapped of him... Hmmm.
Cliffy Richie's not the only homo I saw donned in Pugsley-gear this year... Not that it was this super-popular costume or anything, but I guess I'm just surprised that it was go-to for more than one... Again, hmmm...
Dinilightful DiniLicious Dimakos hit the nail on the head as Britney Spears, present day.From the cheetos to the Venti Frappucino, there was absolutely no mistaking her.
Methinks the only thing that would have made it more obvious that she was Britney Spears would have been for her to walk around naked from the waist down holding a chandelier catalogue.
Because if there's one thing that Britney Spears loves, it's chandeliers, apparently...
Here's Muff and I as just a regular-old Policewoman and Yacht captain (I FINALLY GOT A CAPTAIN'S HAT!!! SCORE!!!), respectively.We weren't anyone specific, but if pressed, I guess you could say that I was "Sexy Gavin McLeod from The Love Boat" and she was "Sexy Cagney AND/OR Sexy Lacey"...
Whatever lets ya sleep at night...
The award for costume of the night, however, could have gone two very different, distinct ways...
A.) Heidi Brander as Zanessa - Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens...Yeah. It's pretty fucking brilliant. Agreed.
One side: Basketball champ Troy Bolton - Zac Efron's character from the "High School Musical" franchise...
The other: Plentifully-beaved superskank Vanessa Anne Hudgens... Zac Efron's current beard and co-star from HSM...
The one problem I have with this is that she had to include a bikini and didn't rock a googly-eye nipple and makeshift pubis.
So for that, Brander, you don't get costume of the night...
Sorry... but never underestimate the power of correct pubic hair configuration replication when putting together a costume...
I used to draw boardwalk chariacatures - you know those drawings you get done of yourself where your head is exponentially bigger than your body and you're doing something like go-karting or skateboarding? Yeah... I used to do those... - and I always realized that replicating the persons hair was the thing that really brought it all together...
I guess same rule applies to pubic hair configuration and Hallowe'en costumes...
Anyballs, the out-and-out star of the night also happened to be the host of the fete - Yerxa as Amy Winehouse...Yes.
Yes...
... Yes.
Which one is which is what I wanna know - who's with me?
Yerx actually looked good as Amy Winehouse, which was terrifying...
Like, it was a very becoming look on him...
And because of that, here's one more...Behold: Amy Winehomes.
You don't see his ballet slippers in it, but you get the point.
Best story that may embarrass Yerx but is just to funny not to tell:
The moment I saw this bitch I was like, "You're totally going to pick up as Amy Winehouse. It's totally going to happen".
And it totally did. Kicker: Leaving the dude's house in the morning, which was November 1st, he discovers his Metropass has expired - fucking Metropasses... -
So he gotta WALK HOME AS AMY WINEHOUSE in the unforgiving autumn morning sun...
Kicker on top of the previous kicker: one of his ballet slippers broke the night previous, so he had to walk home Cinderella stylez...
Anyway... that's it... have a good weekend everybody... and remember - 10 DAYS AWAY FROM THE NEXT BITCH SALAD!!!
