Thursday, January 17, 2008

Antici... ... ... ... -Pation!

Friends & Friends of friends,

Happy Thursday to you! I'm feeling usually energized today and surprisingly refreshed. It might have something to do with the fact that I actually managed to scrounge up a whopping 7 minutes of sleep last night, which is just shocking. SHOCKING.

It's no doubt supplemented by the fact that I got to watch American Idol last night for the first time this season. Yeah. The audition episodes. Whoa. It takes a lot of patience, patience that I don't always have. And while the talent is far from exceptional based on what we've seen this season, some of the bad auditions are still not without their charm.

I actually laughed quite heartily at that one incredibly subdued girl whose name completely escapes me that sang Celine Dion's "If You Asked Me To". It was just ballistically bad and totally honest without being annoying - and hilarious. My God. Not Joan Hawaii, P.I. hilarious, but hilarious just the same.

Aaaanyballs, here are precisely three things that I am quaking with anticipation for:

1.) THE LATEST AURAL OFFERING FROM JANET JACKSON

Pictured to the left, to the left - the cover of Janet Jackson's upcoming 9th studio album (I'm counting "Diamonds", not "Design of a Decade", btw for all you purists out there), entitled "Discipline". You can easily gather all of this as both Janet, her name, and Discipline, the album's title, are smeared across her gloves in what I presume to be litres of jizz.

Blarg. I guess I like it. I like the whole kind of "taking dirty Polaroids at 3 AM in a motel room" lighting scheme of it. I'm a little over the BDSM wardrobe theme, though. It's a little Madonna's-video-for-"Human Nature" for me, which is in itself, SOOOO 1995. But yeah. I'll buy this shit fo sho'. I effin' LOVE that single "Feedback", and early reviews suggest that it's full of a slew of club-bangers with her signature stacked harmonies - it looks like Miss Jackson finally got into her head that the whispery, aimless mid-tempo garbage that have characterized her last two efforts simply do not work. Anyway - CAN'T WAIT!!!

2.) SEX & THE CITY: THE MOVIE

I'm looking SUPER forward to this. I can't even fucking tell you. There has been a void in my soul since S&TC went off the air that has been quivering like a horse's mouth immediately before it makes contact with its oates or barley or whatever the fuck horse's eat.

Apparently this movie is supposed to be Part 1 of a trilogy - which is SUCH an exciting notion. I mean, fingers crossed that the bitches can keep they jowls from hitting da ground before a third film would be completed years from now, but yeah, a trilogy would be awesome.

You may recall a blog I did a while ago detailing my wish list of characters from the S&TC six-season run that I hope to see in the big-screen adaptation and according to imdb.com, My #4 AND #5 - Bitsy Von Muffling-Fine and Magda, respectively - will indeed be back. I'm still holding out for Lexi Featherstone. Maybe in the sequel.

Anyway, May 30 seems pretty close. Especially considering that they're still filming, as per evidenced by THESE RED-HOT PAPARAZZI SHOTS OF JASON LEWIS-AKA-SMITH JERROD NAKED, BUGALOOING ON THE BEACH WITH SAMANTHA... click HERE to see them. They're obviously NSWF. Annnnyway... what these mean is that they're still doing principal photography, so May 30th seems a little soon for a feature film to be in the can. Especially considering the extensive CGI effects they'll need to apply to Kim Cattrall's cellulite...

I really want/NEED that bathing suit. She might as well have been wearing an old-tymey one piece swimming trunk... fuck...

3.) THE LATEST AURAL OFFERING BY MARIAH CAREY

Also dropping an album very shortly? Miss Mariah Standby-a Carey is who!

Entitled "THAT CHICK", this is reportedly the cover art for the album.

What the fuck is she holding? Is that a record or a Zorro hat? I haven't the foggiest.

I loves me some Mariah Carey. I have every album of hers. Starting with her self-titled debut, "Mariah Carey", on cassette tape back in 1990 all the way up to 2005's "Emancipation of Mimi". Including the soundtrack to "Glitter", which is not half bad at all. I might even so far as to call it good. You know what? I'm just gonna fucking go for broke and deem it as GREAT, actually. Baaanyballs, as everyone knows, Mariah was somewhat of a lost cause after a fit of unusual antics and complete 'mental and physical breakdown' of 2001 (which, looking back, really pales in comparison with the rollercoaster that is Britney Spears of late), and the mighty hit-maker and voice of the 90's seemed destined to be put out to pasture for the rest of her days.

Then a little song called "It's Like That" completely gave everyone in the universe a huge boner. Consequently, another little song called "We Belong Together" stroked everyone's boner to a huge climax, became Mariah's 17th #1 record, the #1 song of the year for 2005 and just like that, Mimi was back on top. May it never end.

For serious - One more #1 and she ties Elvis for the runner-up spot of arists with the most #1's. Three more, and she ties The Beatles. FOUR more and she BEATS The mothafuckin' Beatles, y'all. And it's TOTALLY gonna happen. MUAHAHAHA! Ooooohhhhh snap.

In other news:

Yeah. This guy "came out".

His name is Adamo Ruggiero and he plays the gay dude on Degrassi. I've never seen an episode of Degrassi, but I'm aware of him somewhere in my unconscious for some reason. Probably random previews for Degrassi that have been on commercials on CTV during my primetime viewing and seeing him say some shit like "Accept me!" or something.

Anyway - apparently news broke or something and he came out. Hmmm. This is kind of like when Nathan Lane came out... by my estimation, anyway. 'Cuz girrrl, I seen this queen out at gay places f'yeeears. I just assumed everyone knew. Anyway.

Kudos to him for coming out and being on a CTV show. CTV isn't exactly renowned for bolstering too many queer public personalities in its stable. Well, at least not queer personalities that aren't in the closet... *hub-hub-hub-strawberry-rhubarb-whisper-whisper*... MmmmmmmmmmHmmmmmmmmm... anyway...

That's gonna be it for today.

I think.

Yeah,

--- Aj

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