Annnnnd it's worse...
I should probably ice the bitch or something. But I hate it when my feet are cold - it's so uncomfortable! Blah!
Yesterday as I was making my way home at around 5:30-ish - so the dead of rush hour - trains were evacuated due to a "medical emergency" at Sherbourne station. Read: Some INCREDIBLY selfish asshole decided to commit suicide - both of their life and my comfort.
I poured up to street level to try and catch a cab, which was going to be virtually impossible in this rush hour crowd of uppity commuters all wishing to do the same. I hobbled almost all the way to Church & Wellesley, seeing cabs whiz by me as if I were invisible. I'm not gonna lie - I was about to give up. I was just about to crawl into an alley and die... I swear... you know how wounded animals do that? Crouch into the most far, darkest corner of a pantry and just wait for the clock to run out? I totally get that now.
Then a heroic prince named Mahmoud came to my rescue with his fair steed and whisked me home. Huzzah!
Anyballs --- I really need to stop writing about this toe shit. I refuse to have this blog be all about my toe! It's like I'm that person who was going to commit suicide, set a year-long expiration date and then started a blog to document their final days (only to end up not committing suicide because of the community that developed as a result of the blog) - only much, much, MUCH less interesting.
No matter...
A few things:
1.) Mariah Carey is subbing in for Janet on SNL this weekend!!!
Yep. That's pretty much it. Janet was supposed to musically guest this Saturday with host Jonah "how is it that this man has remotely succeeded in a visual medium" Hill, but because of a nasty bout with the flu - PS... does EVERYONE have the flu right now? Does no one take heed and get they'ze damn flu shots except for me? My mother gives me mine every Christmas, and I have this really annoying habit of laughing hysterically whilst and when I get needles... it's really creepy and embarrassing... but I digress -
Anyballs - Mariah has not musically guested for nigh on 10 years now and has yet to appear in a sketch. I'm hoping she jumps in there a time or two this episode...
2.) Idol Last Night!
Syesha: Spirited. A little pitchy. All things considered, one of the better performances of the night, however - ill-timed. Historically, the first person who's performed the inaugural week of the Top 12 shows has been in the bottom 3. People just can't be expected to remember that fucking far back.
Chekezie: came out of nowhere. Exciting performance and really spun everyone on their head starting with that bluegrassy shit. He's effectively borrowed some more time. But like, really... is that Idol material? No no no no no... he's about as equipped to be a solo artist as Nathan Morris or, perhaps, Wanye Morris from Boyz II Men...
Ramiele actually put me to sleep. I'm not lying. I was laying on m'bed at the time, and bitch was like the aural equivalent to a bottle of Nyquill. I'd be absolutely confounded to see her safe after that.
Jason Castro was phenom, again. I liked it. I disagree with the 'college dude with a guitar' thing because I know many of those dudes and I couldn't stand when they fucking did that... for real... guys with guitars were the bane of my existence in University... it was just this instant conversation killer. Anyway - I thought the whole thing was touching and adorable. We'll see how much longer Jason can keep that obliviousness and honesty up before his head enters his ass...
Carly Smithson continues to be my favourite person ever. "Come Together" - How the fuck awesome was that?! It was definitely a star-making performance and the indisputably best of the night...
I'm kind of over David Cook. Yes he does what he does well, but is he at all charismatic. I don't think so. I'm kind a sense that people are falling for the combination that A.) he occupies a concept (namely: Emo rocker) and B.) he's competent. I get a far more Constantine Maroulis-esque fate from him rather than a Daughtry-esque fate...
Brooke White crawls up a notch above "meh" for me this week. I don't know if I'd say that what she did was the result of raw emotion or sincerity, but rather out of hysteria and nerves. Hard to tell. Who the fuck knows? Bleaty McBleaterson will be around for a while.
David "Stripper for a Mostly-Male Audience" Hernandez told tales of working in a pizza bistro. Is that what they're calling it or nowadays? Or is it that I could waltz into a Piziola and get tea bagged? Whatever the case, his widely lauded performance ability is turning out to look less like raw talent and more like "Up With People"-esque serviceability. PS - WE CAN SEE YOUR PUBES IN THAT PICTURE!!! AHHHHH!!!
Amanda Overmyer is kinda sorta starting to get it. She could look a little less displeased to be there, but she brings a very distinct flavour to the competition, no doubt. One thing that's starting to annoy me: how she randomly inserts "child" (pronounced: chahld) into her phrasing. She should last another week, though...
Michael Johns bores me to tears. Anyone with me? He's got a nice voice. I'm sure he'd make a killing in musical theatre or something, but he's just so terribly bland it makes me heave. That sexy accent will only be able to pull him so far...
Kristy Lee Cook still makes me want to wretch. Find me one person on this earth who found that countrified take on "8 Days A Week" anything other than appalling and I'll give you a handful of a snozberries (and I know... "who ever heard of a snozberry"... that's the point... they're nonexistent/rare). I still don't know if that's enough to boot this bitch, though... *sigh*
David Archuleta ate it. Hard. The whole thing reeked of inconstancy - to say that the cracks are starting to show is the understatement of the year. I will say that he had the most awesomely obvious lyric blackouts ever though... ACTUALLY saying "hmm mmm hmph vmmm" where lyrics were supposed to be... after that, somewhere Wayne Brady and the "Don't Forget The Lyrics" crew are battling a boner that won't go down for months...
As much as Kristy Lee Cook SHOULD SHOULD SHOULD go, she totally won't. In fact, I'd wager her not even being in the bottom three. I'm going to call Syesha, Ramiele and David Hernandez in the bottom three with David being the first to safety and in the third minor shocker of the season, an especially pissed-off Syesha will be sent unpacking... replete with dozens of pans to a shocked and slightly guilt-ridden Kristy Lee Cook looking on...
3.) Is this really Tom Cruise?
Confirm or squelch that this picture is actually of Tom Cruise...
If it turns out to be real, I can't imagine Xenu is going to sleep too soundly tonight... Thetans, am I right? Yeah, you know I am.
That's gonna be it for today.
I'm in the semi-finals for the Great Canadian Laugh-Off tonight at Yuk Yuk's downtown.
I really don't know how I'm supposed to perform stand up comedy tonight when the operative of "stand up comedy" is "stand up". Hmmm.
Anyballs,
--- Aj
I should probably ice the bitch or something. But I hate it when my feet are cold - it's so uncomfortable! Blah!
Yesterday as I was making my way home at around 5:30-ish - so the dead of rush hour - trains were evacuated due to a "medical emergency" at Sherbourne station. Read: Some INCREDIBLY selfish asshole decided to commit suicide - both of their life and my comfort.
I poured up to street level to try and catch a cab, which was going to be virtually impossible in this rush hour crowd of uppity commuters all wishing to do the same. I hobbled almost all the way to Church & Wellesley, seeing cabs whiz by me as if I were invisible. I'm not gonna lie - I was about to give up. I was just about to crawl into an alley and die... I swear... you know how wounded animals do that? Crouch into the most far, darkest corner of a pantry and just wait for the clock to run out? I totally get that now.
Then a heroic prince named Mahmoud came to my rescue with his fair steed and whisked me home. Huzzah!
Anyballs --- I really need to stop writing about this toe shit. I refuse to have this blog be all about my toe! It's like I'm that person who was going to commit suicide, set a year-long expiration date and then started a blog to document their final days (only to end up not committing suicide because of the community that developed as a result of the blog) - only much, much, MUCH less interesting.
No matter...
A few things:
1.) Mariah Carey is subbing in for Janet on SNL this weekend!!!Yep. That's pretty much it. Janet was supposed to musically guest this Saturday with host Jonah "how is it that this man has remotely succeeded in a visual medium" Hill, but because of a nasty bout with the flu - PS... does EVERYONE have the flu right now? Does no one take heed and get they'ze damn flu shots except for me? My mother gives me mine every Christmas, and I have this really annoying habit of laughing hysterically whilst and when I get needles... it's really creepy and embarrassing... but I digress -
Anyballs - Mariah has not musically guested for nigh on 10 years now and has yet to appear in a sketch. I'm hoping she jumps in there a time or two this episode...
2.) Idol Last Night!
Syesha: Spirited. A little pitchy. All things considered, one of the better performances of the night, however - ill-timed. Historically, the first person who's performed the inaugural week of the Top 12 shows has been in the bottom 3. People just can't be expected to remember that fucking far back.
Chekezie: came out of nowhere. Exciting performance and really spun everyone on their head starting with that bluegrassy shit. He's effectively borrowed some more time. But like, really... is that Idol material? No no no no no... he's about as equipped to be a solo artist as Nathan Morris or, perhaps, Wanye Morris from Boyz II Men...
Ramiele actually put me to sleep. I'm not lying. I was laying on m'bed at the time, and bitch was like the aural equivalent to a bottle of Nyquill. I'd be absolutely confounded to see her safe after that.
Jason Castro was phenom, again. I liked it. I disagree with the 'college dude with a guitar' thing because I know many of those dudes and I couldn't stand when they fucking did that... for real... guys with guitars were the bane of my existence in University... it was just this instant conversation killer. Anyway - I thought the whole thing was touching and adorable. We'll see how much longer Jason can keep that obliviousness and honesty up before his head enters his ass...
Carly Smithson continues to be my favourite person ever. "Come Together" - How the fuck awesome was that?! It was definitely a star-making performance and the indisputably best of the night...
I'm kind of over David Cook. Yes he does what he does well, but is he at all charismatic. I don't think so. I'm kind a sense that people are falling for the combination that A.) he occupies a concept (namely: Emo rocker) and B.) he's competent. I get a far more Constantine Maroulis-esque fate from him rather than a Daughtry-esque fate...
Brooke White crawls up a notch above "meh" for me this week. I don't know if I'd say that what she did was the result of raw emotion or sincerity, but rather out of hysteria and nerves. Hard to tell. Who the fuck knows? Bleaty McBleaterson will be around for a while.
David "Stripper for a Mostly-Male Audience" Hernandez told tales of working in a pizza bistro. Is that what they're calling it or nowadays? Or is it that I could waltz into a Piziola and get tea bagged? Whatever the case, his widely lauded performance ability is turning out to look less like raw talent and more like "Up With People"-esque serviceability. PS - WE CAN SEE YOUR PUBES IN THAT PICTURE!!! AHHHHH!!!Amanda Overmyer is kinda sorta starting to get it. She could look a little less displeased to be there, but she brings a very distinct flavour to the competition, no doubt. One thing that's starting to annoy me: how she randomly inserts "child" (pronounced: chahld) into her phrasing. She should last another week, though...
Michael Johns bores me to tears. Anyone with me? He's got a nice voice. I'm sure he'd make a killing in musical theatre or something, but he's just so terribly bland it makes me heave. That sexy accent will only be able to pull him so far...
Kristy Lee Cook still makes me want to wretch. Find me one person on this earth who found that countrified take on "8 Days A Week" anything other than appalling and I'll give you a handful of a snozberries (and I know... "who ever heard of a snozberry"... that's the point... they're nonexistent/rare). I still don't know if that's enough to boot this bitch, though... *sigh*
David Archuleta ate it. Hard. The whole thing reeked of inconstancy - to say that the cracks are starting to show is the understatement of the year. I will say that he had the most awesomely obvious lyric blackouts ever though... ACTUALLY saying "hmm mmm hmph vmmm" where lyrics were supposed to be... after that, somewhere Wayne Brady and the "Don't Forget The Lyrics" crew are battling a boner that won't go down for months...
As much as Kristy Lee Cook SHOULD SHOULD SHOULD go, she totally won't. In fact, I'd wager her not even being in the bottom three. I'm going to call Syesha, Ramiele and David Hernandez in the bottom three with David being the first to safety and in the third minor shocker of the season, an especially pissed-off Syesha will be sent unpacking... replete with dozens of pans to a shocked and slightly guilt-ridden Kristy Lee Cook looking on...
3.) Is this really Tom Cruise?
Confirm or squelch that this picture is actually of Tom Cruise...
If it turns out to be real, I can't imagine Xenu is going to sleep too soundly tonight... Thetans, am I right? Yeah, you know I am.That's gonna be it for today.
I'm in the semi-finals for the Great Canadian Laugh-Off tonight at Yuk Yuk's downtown.
I really don't know how I'm supposed to perform stand up comedy tonight when the operative of "stand up comedy" is "stand up". Hmmm.
Anyballs,
--- Aj
