What the fuck is up? T to the G to the I to the F is what.
You know what's fast approaching? The Toronto International Film Festival. A glorious, glorious week in which the biggest stars in the world descend upon this humble berg and dazzle us. DAZZLE us, I say.
The TIFF (as it's affectionately known) has credibility busting out its wazoo, too. It's frequently home to the world premieres of much Oscar Fare - in the past two years we've seen the likes of Brokeback Mountain, Walk The Line and Babel just to name a few unveilled right here in the TDot (I've never understood why people call it that. Can anyone enlighten me?)
Anyway - it's around now that we start to find out what, and more importantly, WHO'S coming to town. If this delicious little item is to be believed, the 2007 TIFF stands to be the greatest one yet. Dykon JODIE FOSTER is coming to town! Thinking-woman's-man MARK RUFFALO is coming to town!
But most paramount of all - MERYL STREEP IS COMING TO TOWN!
Alongside Jake Gyllenhal and Reese Witherspoon blah blah blah for the world premiere of political thriller "Rendition".
I'm not even lying - As much as I'm against this sort of thing with every fibre of my being, I will be down there in the cheering section with hopes as high as the sky that I might get a handshake from La Streep. And I'm going to bet 90-1 that Yerxa will be with me on that.
So in tribute/preparation of Mary Louise Streep's impending visit, today's Top 10 will be my favourite Streep characters of all time.
10.) "YOLONDA JOHNSON" in A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION
Yeah, so no one liked this movie except for me. For real - not a soul that I've ever encountered has anything remotely positive to say about it but I fucking loved it (Lindsay Lohan circa-her bout with Anorexia notwithstanding). As long suspected, Streep has quite a set of pipes on her - did you know that she was actually fighting tooth and nail for the part of Eva in "Evita" and was super-pissed about losing it to Madonna... she actually went on the record bashing Madonna because of it. Anyway - here's her singing "My Minnesota Home" avec Lily Tomlin. May it be in your head for months.
9.) "SUZANNE VALE" in POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE
Foggy memories bubble up that as a kid I always got this movie confused with the Shelley Long-Bette Midler vehicle "Outrageous Fortune" because the poster for that movie had them hanging over a cliff. No matter. In this adaptation of Carrie Fisher's semi-autobiographical novel of the same name, Meryl Streep plays a drug-rattled, on-the-edge actress coming to terms with living in her aging movie queen-mother's shadown, played to perfection by Shirley MacLaine. More singing... it's mainly worth it for Shirley MacLaine's rip-roaring version of "I'm Still Here"... in fact, I think that's the lone reason why this movie was mentioned in this countdown at all... I'm such an asshole.
8.) Combo: SUSAN ORLEAN in ADAPTATION and CLARISSA VAUGHAN in THE HOURS
I clumped these two together not because they're remotely similar - because Meryl Streep's roles, like snowflakes and assholes, are all totally unique and no two the same - but rather because they were in the same year and should have resulted in a double Oscar win. That last bit in Adaptation is priceless. I think it was one of 5 times I've been watching her and been like "HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SO GOOD?!" and she was stirring as usual in The Hours. Really, everyone in that movie deserved an Oscar except for Nicole "I wore a fake nose GIVE ME MORE BOTOX BITCH!" Kidman.
7.) ROBERTA GUSAPARI in MUSIC OF THE HEART
Only Meryl Streep could garner an Oscar Nomination for her part in a movie that was basically a Lifetime Television movie of the week. Basically. More Madonna/Streep overlap: Originally Madonna was supposed to do this role but learning the violin/making the ass-rockingness that was the Ray of Light album proved too daunting. But not for Streep. Bitch learned the violin in like three days and was good to go. 6.) "HELEN ARCHER" in IRONWEED
One of many successful Meryl Streep-Jack Nicholson vehicles, Ironweed explores time-tested loyalty between a former singer and baseball star-turned-full-blown-bums. Streep playing an olde-tymey crack whore: awesome. And more singing!!! This is one of my favourites - it's "Me Pal".Pallette Cleanser: "JESSICA LOVEJOY" in THE SIMPSONS 
You knew that this was Meryl Streep voicing her, right? One of Bart's countless romantic conquests, Streep played Reverend and Helen Lovejoy's downright devilish daughter Jessica - whose mean streak gets Bart in all sorts of trouble. I had no fucking idea this was Meryl Streep until recently. I guess I thought it was Jennifer Love Hewitt or some shit. Whoa.
5.) LINDY CHAMBERLAIN in "A CRY IN THE DARK"
Based on a true story, Lindy Chamberlain goes camping in the outback. Lindy Chamberlain leaves her baby in a tent. [Allegedly] a dingo comes and takes her baby. Lindy goes on trial for killing her baby and it's a media circus. Because of her evil-looking eyebrows, no one believes her. WHO THE FUCK CARES - This movie and role are worth mentioning for one line of dialogue and one line of dialogue only: "The dingo took my baby!" 4.) MADELINE ASHTON in "DEATH BECOMES HER"
To tell you the truth, I've never much cared for this movie, but don't nobody vamp it up like the Streepster. Playing aging movie siren Madeline, she makes a deal with the devil in the form of Isabella Rossellini to remain young forever. Things get botched, however, when dowdy girlfriend from the past, Helen (Goldie Hawn), comes to administer some long-overdue comeuppance. Best. Fight. Ever.
3.) "SOPHIE ZAWISTOWSKI" in SOPHIE'S CHOICE
In the cinematic equivalent to twisting a Tetanus-infected screwdriver into the hearts of mother's everywhere, Meryl Streep became seamlessly fluent in Polish and acted a scene in which she is forced to choose which one of her children will die at the hands of the Nazis with devastating effectiveness in her lone Oscar winning turn as best actress. Meryl Streep will have to do better than this in order to win another Oscar. Raw deal, man. 2.) "MIRANDA PRIESTLY" in THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
I can't say enough about this movie - it's one of my top 5 of all time. Playing the most enchanting-yet-menacing divabitch in the history of film, Meryl Streep rocketed herself back to relevance with an entirely new generation of filmgoers and reinstated the power of never raising your voice. Favourite throwaway line in this movie: After the first time that Andy is called into Miranda's office and given a million things to do including getting skirts from Calvin Klein, as Andy runs back to her desk, Miranda turns her attention back to her other minions and mutters "... it's just a cavalier disregard for clarity". I find this so entertaining.But
There
Can
Only
Be
1.) "MARY FISHER" in SHE-DEVIL
Oh motherfucker. If you haven't seen this movie, there is searing pity in my heart for you. In this haute-camp movie about a romance novelist (Streep) who steals a pug-fug surburban housewife (Roseanne Barr)'s man-whorish accountant husband (Ed Begley, Jr.) away from her only to receive her comeuppance in slow-cooked, masterful form Meryl proves that she does over-the-top like no one else. Fuck Sophie's Choice up that ass - THIS was her Oscar winner.
For serious, if you haven't seen it, DO.
Have a blissful weekend,
--- Aj
For serious, if you haven't seen it, DO.
Have a blissful weekend,
--- Aj
