Yep. Or whatever...
Apparently it's Martin Luther King (Jr.) day in the states today. Which is why a number of websites I frequent daily are featuring 0.0 updates. And that's heartbreaking. Not as heartbreaking as the tragic assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., mind you... but heartbreaking just the same...
Something NOT heartbreaking... well, I guess kind of heartbreaking to the bitch it's happening to, BUT NOT FOR ME --- is this article I've been giggling like a lunatic since I read about it via Dlisted last night....
Okay. Here's the long and short of it:
Over the weekend a story broke out of somewhere in suburban Michigan. It seems that in a peaceful neighborhood called Lindy Lane, there's an evil gal named Jean Mansel. "Evil Jean", as she will henceforth be known, has 4 wiener dogs who are apparently, gargantuan crap factories.
It seems that Evil Jean refuses to pick up her dog's dung, which understandably upsets the neighbors. It also seems that Evil Jean boasts a huge concrete statue of Jesus in her front yard, an apparent heirloom given to her grandfather, or perhaps, an apostle himself. This is only speculation.
Anyway - the neighbors had just about ENOUGH of Evil Jean's dung distribution and her obvious God complex and so they banded together and did what anyone with half a brain and half a ballsack would do - they kidnapped her assfucking Jesus statue and are holding it hostage 'til bitch smartens her ass up and picks up her daaaayumn dog shit!
The ransom note - oh yes, there was a ransom note - contains the absolute quote of the century...
Honestly, I just re-read it and full-blown cackled for 5 minutes... this is nuts.
Anyway... I've been following this story closely since it broke, and it turns out that all's well that ends well - Jesus has been returned to Evil Jean and the culprit turned out to be 'a family member'. The family Mansel are dealing with this privately and are not expected to press charges.
Poopie. I wanted this to drag on for days. I wanted concrete appendages sent to them until every last bit of canine fecal matter had been removed. Then, I wanted additional demands. Like for the entire Mansel clan to be forced into performing an elaborate Hula-burlesque show on their front lawn. GAH!
Holy balls. I've been laughing so hard all morning I feel like I'm going to vomit. I can't handle this. It's just so unbelievable to me that the word "poopie" gets me now more than it could have possibly gotten me betwixt the ages of 6 and 13. Fuck. Wow...
Anyway, that's it for today.
Happy MLK Day,
We shall overcome,
--- Aj
Apparently it's Martin Luther King (Jr.) day in the states today. Which is why a number of websites I frequent daily are featuring 0.0 updates. And that's heartbreaking. Not as heartbreaking as the tragic assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., mind you... but heartbreaking just the same...
Something NOT heartbreaking... well, I guess kind of heartbreaking to the bitch it's happening to, BUT NOT FOR ME --- is this article I've been giggling like a lunatic since I read about it via Dlisted last night....
Okay. Here's the long and short of it:Over the weekend a story broke out of somewhere in suburban Michigan. It seems that in a peaceful neighborhood called Lindy Lane, there's an evil gal named Jean Mansel. "Evil Jean", as she will henceforth be known, has 4 wiener dogs who are apparently, gargantuan crap factories.
It seems that Evil Jean refuses to pick up her dog's dung, which understandably upsets the neighbors. It also seems that Evil Jean boasts a huge concrete statue of Jesus in her front yard, an apparent heirloom given to her grandfather, or perhaps, an apostle himself. This is only speculation.
Anyway - the neighbors had just about ENOUGH of Evil Jean's dung distribution and her obvious God complex and so they banded together and did what anyone with half a brain and half a ballsack would do - they kidnapped her assfucking Jesus statue and are holding it hostage 'til bitch smartens her ass up and picks up her daaaayumn dog shit!
The ransom note - oh yes, there was a ransom note - contains the absolute quote of the century...
"We are holding Jesus ransom until you clean up the poopie from your wieners"Oh yes. What's more - that is the VERY FIRST LINE of the ransom note. That phrase alone has had me busting out into sporadic fits of HYSTERICAL laughter all fucking morning. Wow.
Honestly, I just re-read it and full-blown cackled for 5 minutes... this is nuts.
Anyway... I've been following this story closely since it broke, and it turns out that all's well that ends well - Jesus has been returned to Evil Jean and the culprit turned out to be 'a family member'. The family Mansel are dealing with this privately and are not expected to press charges.
Poopie. I wanted this to drag on for days. I wanted concrete appendages sent to them until every last bit of canine fecal matter had been removed. Then, I wanted additional demands. Like for the entire Mansel clan to be forced into performing an elaborate Hula-burlesque show on their front lawn. GAH!
Holy balls. I've been laughing so hard all morning I feel like I'm going to vomit. I can't handle this. It's just so unbelievable to me that the word "poopie" gets me now more than it could have possibly gotten me betwixt the ages of 6 and 13. Fuck. Wow...
Anyway, that's it for today.
Happy MLK Day,
We shall overcome,
--- Aj
