Haven't done one of these in a while.
The title, of course, pertains to Marge Simpson's catchphrase dismissing trivial inconveniences a-la "Ah well, what are ya gonna do?"... and I use it to sort of title a post that deals with random minutia that doesn't really matter. But before that...
How are you today? I'm splendidly, thanks for asking. It's a super nice day weather-wise here in Toronto, the CEO of my company - David Mirvish - finally got my name right, and I just got a brand spanking new pair of shoes on my extraordinarily prolonged lunch break. Loveliness all around. And tonight I'm joining a group of chums down at the harbour front to take in the sights, sounds and smells of Ladytron to celebrate the birthday of Matt Thomas - the editor-in-chief of Fab Magazine.
Speaking of Fab magazine, make sure you pick up the latest issue, as there's a roundup of pics that were snapped over Pride weekend with hilarious captions provided by myself, comedians Richard Ryder and Dawn Whitwell, and drag divas Donnarama and Daytona Beach. There were like 30+ photos that we needed to caption in a turnaround period of like 8 hours from the time we got them to the magazine going to print... it was insanity... I hammered them out in like 3 hours (that's what she said)... my creative juices had all but evaporated by the end of it... I actually think there's this one picture of a bunch of naked guys getting ready to strike at each other on a wrestling mat that I captioned "Don't Cha Hate Mondays?"... and it has nothing, if very little, to do with Garfield. Ohhhhh brother.
Anyballs... here's some randomness...
1.) ANNA WINTOUR CELEBRATES 20th ANNIVERSARY AS EDITRIX-IN-CHEIFETTE OF VOGUE MAGAZINEYeppy.
Nigh on 20 years ago - June 28, 1987 as a matter of fact - one Anna Wintour began her reign of terror/fabulousness over the fashion industry when she stepped into top position at the world's leading fashion rag.
Pictured, is Anna giving a hearty 'thumbs up' celebrating the occasion (not really). I can't imagine cake was served to commemorate the occasion... maybe ice cubes on Popsicle sticks, but definitely no sort of customary celebratory confectionery (all of those words started with a 'c' and ended with a 'ry'... see that?)
Anyway - it's really not worth mentioning for any other reason that me wanting to bring up how fucking obsessed I still am with Anna Wintour - an obsession that I dealt with in great detail in this post. Anyballs... if you read it, you'll remember one little reported habit of hers that struck me as very funny - that she stands in her office, frustratedly throwing pennies from her purse into the garbage as if to say "I simply do not have time for all these 1 cent pieces!!! *Angry shriek*"... well I was speaking about this over the weekend, and as it turns out, a lot of people do this. The more I continue to bring it up, the more people come out as being a penny trasher - I HAD NO IDEA. I think I'll make my first foray into investigative journalism on the topic of Penny Trashers... so, if you're a penny trasher who really wants your story told, please e-mail me at femaledogsalad@gmail.com - I smell a Pulitzer.
2.) MONKIDS ARE MAKING A COMEBACK!!!Oh shit. This is terrifying.
I don't care how desperate you are for companionship - YOU CANNOT GET A MONKEY AND TREAT IT LIKE A CHILD!!! IT'S UNSPEAKABLY BIZARRE!!! THERE SHOULD BE LAWS AGAINST THIS!!!
The leading culprits in this unholy trend? Empty Nesters (not Richard Mulligan, or Kristy McNichol, or Park Overall or any other cast members from the hit sitcom Empty Nest, but rather sexagenarians who's children have flown the coop). The logic behind this? They want a child again, but they don't want to have to deal with the teenage years again. Sound incredibly wholesome to me. And by that I mean, IT REALLY, REALLY DOESN'T.
All of this makes me feel incredibly at ease about my mom talking to our cat as a result. Because she totally does. She'll totally be in the kitchen, and our cat - Simba - will prance over the cupboard where the wet cat food is and meow, and my mother will repeatedly say "No! No! You just had some! Well what am I supposed to do? Later! No! No!" and really, this thing has just meowed like 5 times but by the 5th time, my mom has lost the argument. Like it actually was an argument - like Simba actually provided points and counterpoints as to why he should have the wet cat food right now and my mother had no other alternative but to crack open the Fancy Feast because Simba's case was so air-tight. It's actually insane.
BUT NOT AS INSANE AS PEOPLE WHO HAVE MONKIDS!!!! So kudos, mom.
3.) SOME VINTAGE - AND I MEAN VINTAGE - CELINE DION
Incognito.
I thought I'd leave you with that.
Have a great weekend,
--- Aj
No comments:
Post a Comment