The gayest night of television... ever

Hey friends,

I am sooo underslept and o'ertired today...

For reasons still unclear to me, I decided to venture out at 11 PM (YES. 11 PM. ON A SUNDAY NIGHT... generally, by that point on any given Sunday [literally any given Sunday... not suggesting some weird intersection betwixt the Jamie Foxx movie and my life] I've been asleep for 5 hours...) to Revival for Perez Hilton's post MMVMA party that I randomly got an invite to.

I decided in lieu of y'know, actually getting an invite to the ceremonies (... yeah.), I guess I'd snatch a teency piece of that pie and go to this party. It was certainly a dressier affair than I thought it'd be... no 'celebrity sightings' per se... unless you count Mario 'Perez Hilton' Lavandeira himself... and it's entirely possible that there were cast members from The Hills there, but it's also entirely possible that they were just other synthetic, desperate hangers-on from Canadian soil - it's kind of impossible to tell from my estimation.

Anyballs... hung out there for a bit... downed a few Heinekens... shot the shit with Tranthony, Dini D and Sabrina, then went home...

But before that... a thoroughly gay evening of television...

First up: T-T-TONYS!!!

Yeppers... the 109th annual Tony Award telecast happened last night... a poorly-rated good time was had by all...

I never used to watch this shit, but now I can't tear myself away. I hesitate to say that it's mandatory for a gay dude to watch the Tonys, because it totally isn't... just because you're gay doesn't mean you HAVE to watch the Tonys... but it's kind of like when a Jew eats brisket - it just feels right. Like you're doing something very traditional and indigenous to your people. Am I little out on a limb here? Yes? Okay... well, pressing on...

Whoopi Goldberg hosted, and just about bored everyone to tears. Holy shit. It was like she was about 5 beats behind every time... as a matter of fact, the only time I was actually entertained by the Whoopster all evening was when flew out dressed like Mary Poppins... I felt that was how Miss Celie in The Colour Purple would look like present-day...

Sidebar: the tranny behind Whoopi's getup all night? Project Runway winner/proprietor of all things fierce, Christian Siriano. It was no small feat that he got her out of her signature extra-large untucked denim shirt and stirrup look that she so often rocks and into his signature hot tranny mess look...

Someone who was NOT looking like a hot tranny mess for once, or at least a lot less of one, was Liza Minnelli. Holy balls!

She was looking shockingly un-busted last night - so congrats, Liza! Fortunately, she was still all kind of crazy - she said something to the extent of "For an actor... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... the theatre is home... ... ... ... ... [delivered with total, complete commitment, thinking that this is the punchline to end all punchlines]... BIG, ISN'T IT?!"

Just something that struck me funny.

Another thing that struck me... How Glenn Close looks more and more like Ed Harris with each passing day. Observe:

Jeez Louise. Still in need of some more feminine facial features. She actually makes Ed Harris look downright dainty by comparison...

Anyway - enough talking about who looks busted and who looks busted-er, as fun as it is - other highlights included, but were not limited to: the original cast of Rent reuniting on stage for "Seasons of Love", performances from rock musicals du jour "In The Heights" and "Passing Strange", the formerly-anonymous journeymen actors of the Steppenwolf company completely cleaning up for "August: Osage County", the cut-off jorts that Xanadu's Cheyenne Jackson wore and of course... the human equivalent of a lightning bolt coursing through your body - Patti Motherfucking Lupone...

Holy FUCK. Work it out, Patti LuPone. Does anyone else remember the show "Life Goes On"? It was the show that had the guy with Down's Syndrome on it - Corky, I believe. I watched it because it was on Sunday nights right before "America's Funniest Home Videos" - and Patti LuPone played the mother, 'Libby'. That's how I knew her. I was totally unaware that she was so crazily ferocious. Good on ya.

Highlights DID NOT include: that bitch from The Little Mermaid, those bitches from Grease, that bitch from South Pacific winning instead of that bitch from In The Heights, and speaking about In The Heights - when that dude won and went up and basically rapped his acceptance speech? I felt very uncomfortable. Like, very uncomfortable. I know I reference this scenario a lot, but I felt watching that the way I do when a retarded person accosts you on the subway alerting you that your shoe is untied and insisting you tie it.

Anyballs... that was that was that.

In other news: JUST OVER A WEEK AWAY!!! AHHHH!!!

That's all.

--- Aj