EXCLUSIVE: Papparazzo'd Nude Shots of Orlando Bloom!!!

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

I know what you're thinking. Day of Bitch Salad. I'm making another post advertizing something salacious then faking you out and being like "made ya look" and you're like "ugh. You are so desperate". BUT NOT TODAY!!! I'm not crying wolf... or rather, cock...

He's not really my cup of tea... well, actually, seeing as I frequently tout my love of English Dandies, he kind of is. So I guess I should shut my effin' mouth.

NEVERTHELESS - I actually do have pictures that were snapped of one Mr. Will Turner himself whilst him and his girlfriend were abroad, frolicking sexily in the surf (is there any other way to frolick in the surf/is there any other place to frolick sexily/is there any other thing to do sexily in the surf? Methink not.)

Anyway... uncensored pic after the jump...

And I think I can show it in its full, uncensored entirety...

I believe bums are allowed...

Anyway...

Here it is...

Kinda flat, huh?

Something that won't be flat? But, in fact, quite bulbous and flavorful?

TONIGHT TONIGHT TONIGHT TONIGHT TONIGHT TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, it's intoxicating. Hope to see you there!!!

Also - quick note - SUUUUPER congratulations to my dear, dear friend Katherine "Kitty" Ryan for winning the Nivea "Funniest New Female Standup In Britain" award - SO amazing. Watch your back, Jennifer Saunders.

Anyballs...

YAY!

--- Aj