Ha.
Okay...
Yesterday, I finally had BabyBel cheese for the first time.
I was a little reluctant to at first. After all, they're miniature wheels of cheese encased in their own individual shells of wax - AND WHO THE FUCK HAS THE TIME FOR THAT? Moreover, those commercials depicting someone jumping out of a plane in pursuit of one freak me out... a cheese? That someone would go kamazae over? UNLIKELY!
But yesterday I bought some on sale and HO - LY - FUCK. NUTS. So delicious.
Moving On:
Idol Wrapup...
Ramiele put me to sleep. Well no, she didn't. I was already asleep. Fucking Jeopardy put me to sleep before Idol, but Ramiele - who kicked things off last night - didn't wake me up. Can you believe that? And singing Heart's "Alone"... of course she did... bah... it sucked. So did she. Well, if anything will land her in the bottom 3 at long last, this'll be it. If not - may God help us all. Her constituency (read: Asian-Americans) is stronger and more vigorous than we can possibly imagine.
Jason Castro continues to be adorable if a little underwhelming. What was up with the foreign language portion yet again? Are you trying to suggest that your debut album would be one of world music? Whatevs... he's getting a little "more of the same" but his sincerity saves him. If there's a disco week, he is fucked up to his brain, though...
Syesha worked it out, as she's been prone to doing of late. If only she wasn't so God-damned unlikable. And bitch - PLEASE stop crying like a baby. It's really not the neat, signature party trick you think it is. Nor is your voice as earth shatteringly divatastic as you think it is. Hmmm.
If Chekezie was an hour glass, methinks there is a tablespoon of sand left in the top chamber... tick tock tick tock... shoot... mayyyyybe Chekezie could have been pseudo-famous back in the all black dude vocal ensemble wave of the mid 90's a-la Boyz II Men, All 4 One, Colour Me Badd, Bel Biv Devoe, Dru Hill... the list goes on endlessly... but now, he's just moot. MOOT!
If I was taking Brooke White's performance seriously, I'd say that it's reasonably commendable that she was able to shake off her complete fuck-up at the beginning of her performance of "Every Breath You Take" and it was completely unecessary for the band to join her like they did. But I wouldn't be taking Brooke seriously because I can't standz da bitch no way. Gah... she'll be safe again.
Michael Johns cemented my belief that he would be make a dynamite replacement for Yvan Pedenault in the Mirvish production of "We Will Rock You" if it wasn't closing May 19th - GET YOUR TICKETS NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! (Can you tell I work for Mirvish?) Anyway... m'afraid that's about the most he could amount to... seriously - does anyone get anything authentic off of him? He's like a better-looking, slightly catatonic, Australian version of Constantine Maroulis. Blech.
Carly Smithson still holds the key to my heart, despite her incredibly nervous rendition of "Total Eclipse of the Heart"... I think she needs to take things a little less seriously, but I still love her. She best not be in the Bottom 3 tonight, y'all...
David Archuleta is a Disney character and that's all there is to it. He might as well have been joined on stage by the Famous People Players* bouncing around of mothafuckin' pogo sticks and giving eachother butterfly kisses, his performance of "You're The Voice" was so stomach churningly wretched... Not. My. Thing.
Kristy Lee Cook's performance of "God Bless The USA" might as well capped itself off by her felating a George Washington look alike and taking in the ass by a giant Bald Eagle - I think that's the only possible way it could have pandered to her constituency more. Holy fuck. I was like "Oh fucking no she isn't". I hereby solemnly swear that the next time I mount a stage in a karaoke context, I WILL be singing "God Bless The USA".
David Cook isn't exactly blowing my mind. PEOPLE - he was doing a cover of Chris Cornell's reversioning of "Billie Jean". He did NOT rework that himself. He was covering someone else's originality - don't get so excited. The fact that he has an extensive mental library of reworkings, reversionings and covers does not an Idol make.
Anyballs...
Bottom 3: Presuming that Carly's premature appearance in last week's Bottom 3 will rally her fanbase this week and Shitsy Lee Cock's patriotism sufficiently rallied the 36% of American's that approve of Bush, I'm going to call out Chikezie, Ramiele and in a surprise visit to the B3, Jason Castro... I might be so inclined to predict that it's the end for Ramiele...
That's it...
Super fun post coming tomorrow!!!
--- Aj
*I don't know if you went to that website, but you'll note that the catchphrase that the FPP use is "See You In The Dark". Clever, huh? Also totally stolen. That phrase was created by none other than my dear gal pal Larissa B. Laycock in our fucking commercial class when we were at *barf* Humber in our TV Writing Post-grad course and ripped off by our teacher then and there. And they're STILL fucking using it... wow... anyballs...
Okay...
Yesterday, I finally had BabyBel cheese for the first time.
I was a little reluctant to at first. After all, they're miniature wheels of cheese encased in their own individual shells of wax - AND WHO THE FUCK HAS THE TIME FOR THAT? Moreover, those commercials depicting someone jumping out of a plane in pursuit of one freak me out... a cheese? That someone would go kamazae over? UNLIKELY!But yesterday I bought some on sale and HO - LY - FUCK. NUTS. So delicious.
Moving On:
Idol Wrapup...
Ramiele put me to sleep. Well no, she didn't. I was already asleep. Fucking Jeopardy put me to sleep before Idol, but Ramiele - who kicked things off last night - didn't wake me up. Can you believe that? And singing Heart's "Alone"... of course she did... bah... it sucked. So did she. Well, if anything will land her in the bottom 3 at long last, this'll be it. If not - may God help us all. Her constituency (read: Asian-Americans) is stronger and more vigorous than we can possibly imagine.
Jason Castro continues to be adorable if a little underwhelming. What was up with the foreign language portion yet again? Are you trying to suggest that your debut album would be one of world music? Whatevs... he's getting a little "more of the same" but his sincerity saves him. If there's a disco week, he is fucked up to his brain, though...
Syesha worked it out, as she's been prone to doing of late. If only she wasn't so God-damned unlikable. And bitch - PLEASE stop crying like a baby. It's really not the neat, signature party trick you think it is. Nor is your voice as earth shatteringly divatastic as you think it is. Hmmm.
If Chekezie was an hour glass, methinks there is a tablespoon of sand left in the top chamber... tick tock tick tock... shoot... mayyyyybe Chekezie could have been pseudo-famous back in the all black dude vocal ensemble wave of the mid 90's a-la Boyz II Men, All 4 One, Colour Me Badd, Bel Biv Devoe, Dru Hill... the list goes on endlessly... but now, he's just moot. MOOT!
If I was taking Brooke White's performance seriously, I'd say that it's reasonably commendable that she was able to shake off her complete fuck-up at the beginning of her performance of "Every Breath You Take" and it was completely unecessary for the band to join her like they did. But I wouldn't be taking Brooke seriously because I can't standz da bitch no way. Gah... she'll be safe again.
Michael Johns cemented my belief that he would be make a dynamite replacement for Yvan Pedenault in the Mirvish production of "We Will Rock You" if it wasn't closing May 19th - GET YOUR TICKETS NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! (Can you tell I work for Mirvish?) Anyway... m'afraid that's about the most he could amount to... seriously - does anyone get anything authentic off of him? He's like a better-looking, slightly catatonic, Australian version of Constantine Maroulis. Blech.
Carly Smithson still holds the key to my heart, despite her incredibly nervous rendition of "Total Eclipse of the Heart"... I think she needs to take things a little less seriously, but I still love her. She best not be in the Bottom 3 tonight, y'all...
David Archuleta is a Disney character and that's all there is to it. He might as well have been joined on stage by the Famous People Players* bouncing around of mothafuckin' pogo sticks and giving eachother butterfly kisses, his performance of "You're The Voice" was so stomach churningly wretched... Not. My. Thing.
Kristy Lee Cook's performance of "God Bless The USA" might as well capped itself off by her felating a George Washington look alike and taking in the ass by a giant Bald Eagle - I think that's the only possible way it could have pandered to her constituency more. Holy fuck. I was like "Oh fucking no she isn't". I hereby solemnly swear that the next time I mount a stage in a karaoke context, I WILL be singing "God Bless The USA".
David Cook isn't exactly blowing my mind. PEOPLE - he was doing a cover of Chris Cornell's reversioning of "Billie Jean". He did NOT rework that himself. He was covering someone else's originality - don't get so excited. The fact that he has an extensive mental library of reworkings, reversionings and covers does not an Idol make.
Anyballs...
Bottom 3: Presuming that Carly's premature appearance in last week's Bottom 3 will rally her fanbase this week and Shitsy Lee Cock's patriotism sufficiently rallied the 36% of American's that approve of Bush, I'm going to call out Chikezie, Ramiele and in a surprise visit to the B3, Jason Castro... I might be so inclined to predict that it's the end for Ramiele...
That's it...
Super fun post coming tomorrow!!!
--- Aj
*I don't know if you went to that website, but you'll note that the catchphrase that the FPP use is "See You In The Dark". Clever, huh? Also totally stolen. That phrase was created by none other than my dear gal pal Larissa B. Laycock in our fucking commercial class when we were at *barf* Humber in our TV Writing Post-grad course and ripped off by our teacher then and there. And they're STILL fucking using it... wow... anyballs...
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